It may be beautiful at the ballet but it's still a job

Welcome to my "office" 

This gorgeous studio is where I have been spending my mornings. It is easy to forget when you are staring at a beautiful old building with high vaulted ceilings that this is work, but at the end of the day it's still your job.

 The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of a typical office job is the morning cup of coffee at your desk. We may not have a desk, but we do have coffee in abundance.

 The coffee is a very crucial part to getting over the hump that I think we are all currently feeling. My body is tired, and I think it is trickling into my mind. The normal morning conversations for most dancers usually goes as such, "How are you?"-"I'm sore".... "I'm tired" ..."My feet hurt"...ect. All of these things are of course accurate, but for myself I can't let those thoughts overwhelm my head.

The last two days of rehearsal have not been my best, and I think it is because I am letting my mental self suck my energy. I am determined from now on to be as positive as possible. It is not the easiest thing to find your inner cheerleader, but I know she is in there and I need let her out.

When I was young I loved to play pretend, and I guess I still do. So let's play pretend. Or at least pretend  until I can find my own confidence. Tomorrow I will not be me, tomorrow I will be someone completely fabulous who even on their worst days could dance circles around any choreography.

Hmm... Let's see...


My go to girl usually is Sylvie Guillem. With her legs that go on endlessly, and her steely strength. She is as perfect as anyone gets. But with the way I am feeling right now I don't think I could do Sylvie justice. Even in my own head.

Another favorite has always been Lucia Lacarra. That woman is beautiful, but she is so soft and delicate I think I need a little diva-ness to get over this hump.









I think this time I will draw on someone who I have seen around town. She dances in San Francisco and every time I have seen her I think she has a hint of rock star about her. This week I would like a little bit of Sofiane Sylve. The woman can turn for days and has a fabulous jump, but more than that she is the type of person that commands a room. That is what I need right now. 


 Being a diva is not easy. I don't know how Cher has done it all these years. I am not typically an in your face kind of person, or an overly confident person by nature. Yet, the ballet world is hard and the "sheep" don't survive. I have spent too many years letting my self doubt get the best of me. Tomorrow at my "office" I WILL be fierce.